Stephen Stotland & AssociatesPsychology for Real Life
Step 3 of 4 · Returning to the Present

Check the Present Situation

Distinguish the strong state from the wider facts of the present.

Card 3, Check the Present Situation. The state is real; it may not be the whole situation. An unsettled person surveys a wider room with a doorway, clock, phone, window, and another person in view.

A brief check

Ask only what helps you see the wider present:

  • What am I feeling?
  • What is my mind predicting?
  • What is actually happening now?
  • What facts belong to the present?

Useful distinctions

  • “I feel unsafe” is not always the same as “I am unsafe.”
  • “This feels like before” is not the same as “before is happening again.”
  • “I have a strong urge” is not the same as “I must act.”
  • “My body is sounding an alarm” is not proof that catastrophe is occurring.
  • “This feeling is real” does not mean it describes the whole situation.

This is not an exercise in proving the feeling wrong. If you may be in genuine danger, gather information and act to protect yourself rather than using the check to dismiss the risk.

Check the Present Situation · Print view | Returning to the Present